Stuck in a difficult relationship- try this!
Stuck in a difficult relationship? Try this!
By Bridgette Morris
The way we understand each other impacts how we live. Taking the time to understand yourself and others will have a positive impact on your life. Let's dive into understanding how we can positively impact our partners.
Did you know men and women tend to have different needs? Women's deepest need is love for respect for men. Remember, especially during conflict, that his love motivates her respect & her respect motivates his love. Look at the list below and rate yourself on a scale of 1-5. (5 being you show this always to 1 being you never do this) If you have a 1 or 2, ask yourself why you aren’t showing this to your partner & if you believe it is important. Men, remember to ask yourselves these questions each day about your actions toward your lady.
C-O-U-P-L-E means LOVE to your lady
Closeness- Am I always remembering to move toward her, and l accept her need to talk and connect with me for her to be reassured of my love for her.
Openness- Do I share my thoughts with her, and am I sure not to resist her efforts to draw me out.
Understanding- Am I careful not to fix her every time she talks about her concerns or problems. Do I remember that she is an integrated personality, and whatever happens affects all of her, especially her emotions?
Peacemaking- Am I always willing to resolve issues, and am I careful not to say let's drop it and move on.
Loyalty- Do I constantly look for ways to tell her am I loyal to her forever and remind her that she is my true love and the only woman for me.
Esteem- Do I always let her know I treasure her and put the highest value on her as a person. Do I let her know what she does and thinks is important to me? Does she know I couldn’t live without her?
The Self Champ Cycle in your relationship
Let's create the Self Champ Cycle in your relationship!
Look at the list below and rate yourself on a scale of 1-5. (5 being you show this always to 1 being you never do this) If you have a 1 or 2, ask yourself why you aren’t showing this to your partner & if you believe it is important. Ladies, remember to ask yourselves these questions each day about your actions toward your man.
C-H-A-I-R-S means RESPECT to your husband
Conquest- Am I always standing behind him and letting him know I support him in his work and endeavors in his field/career.
Hierarchy- Do I let him know I respect and appreciate his desire to protect and care for me. What have I said recently to communicate this to him?
Authority- Have I told him that I recognize him as the primary authority in our relationship (the leader) because he has primary responsibility for me, even to die for me. Do I let him be the leader & how have I helped him in this regard recently? If you have children - Do I respect him as a father toward our children also & how am I showing him this?
Insight- Do I trust his ability to analyze things and offers solutions and not just depend on my own intuition
Relationship- Do I spend shoulder-to-shoulder time with him whenever I can. Do I let him know I am his friend as well as his lover?
Sexuality- Do I recognize his need for sexual intimacy and nourish this in our relationship.
Tips to help you.
Identify your life language. When life becomes difficult do you show up as a pleaser, blamer, avoider, victim or peace-warrior?
Understand your partners.
Show each other grace and focus on the things your partner is doing to show you love & respect.
Choose to protect and value your relationship with positive, loving actions.
Decide to let go of the past and create daily habits to work together as a team.
Choose to be a peaceful warrior & show respect and love.
Your actions can change your life & relationship!
Material is taken from the Book “Love and Respect” by Eggerichs.
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