How to respond if your child says they are ugly or stupid.

What to say if your child says, “I am stupid!” or “I am ugly!”

By Brit Morris

How do you respond if your child says, “I am stupid!” or “I am ugly!” What do you say back to build confidence.

It can be challenging to hear our kids say negative things about themselves and not want to quickly jump in and deny their statements by saying things like, “That’s not true.” or “You are smart.” or “Don’t say things like that.”

Unfortunately when we say that our kids feel unheard and misunderstood.

There’s a much better way to respond.

Instead of arguing with their negative self-talk, listen, and empathize. You can say:

“Hmmm….. I hear you saying you’re not good at this. Would you like to brainstorm ideas together on how you can get better?”

“That’s a heavy feeling. Can you tell me more about that?”

“I am sorry you feel that way. What makes you think that?”

Get them talking instead of telling them what they should be thinking or feeling. Validate their feelings instead of pushing their negative feelings away.

I hope this was helpful.

If you want more tools to build your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem check out our fun, free challenge - No Fear This Year - name your word challenge. Click here to download the free PDF challenge. This is a wonderful activity you can do together and use throughout the year.

Please reach out if we can be of any help and have a wonderful day!

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