Dealing with a difficult person? I’ve got you! How to handle difficult people once and for all.
I’m craving conflict….would you like to play in my game?
The Narcissist drug of choice is CONFLICT!
By Brit Morris
You heard me correctly. If you are entangled in a relationship where there is a level of conflict and drama you are most likely involved with a narcissist. For years I have tried to simplify what narcissism is.
Why? Because emotional abuse is extremely harmful. It is so subtle making it nearly impossible to spot because the narcissist typically comes wrapped in package of integrity and charm. However if you look closely you will start to spot the signs.
Narcissism is a very complex issue. By recognizing the red flags up front you can intentionally let go of the guilt you feel and be able to walk away from an emotionally toxic person and learn how to take control of your life.
No contact and the grey rock method simply do not work. Why? They do not empower you to emotionally remove the toxic person from your life. Often the difficult person in your life is a close family member or close acquaintance. Removing them from life is often not a real possibility. Stepping into real acceptance as to who this person is will allow you to change you and take control of your life. By you changing your own behaviors you will be able to stay 4 steps ahead of any difficult person, not personalize what they are doing even if they must remain in your life.
Learn the gift of the trigger!
You might be asking yourself, “ What is a trigger?” You know what I mean. Out of no where the person you are involved with AND trust sends you a text out of the blue stating they are breaking up with you, found someone else, or a parent reneges on a promise, or an email comes from an attorney stating you are in contempt of your parenting agreement….. It’s like you are suckered punched in gut. It makes no sense. You think, “ why did this person not have the common courtesy to sit down with me and talk things out? Why would they just out of the blue step away from a commitment we had?” The answer would be…. This person is addicted to CONFLICT and lacks emotional integrity. An internal problem this person has that can only be fixed by them. One in which they refuse to acknowledge. One in which you must recognize, know its not your responsibility to point out or try and fix. You must start to recognize the trigger- your gut reaction something is off and change your behavior.
To help you I have created The 4 C’s to change your life. It is the #1 thing you can do to start to recognize emotional abuse, to empower yourself and change your life when you are involved with an emotionally unhealthy person that is addicted to conflict. You can learn The 4 C’s to change your life and other empowering tools in my ecourse “Heal from narcissism.”
Let me explain why the 4 C’s will help you change your life…. Narcissist use manipulation to control you. They appear to have compassion and then out of the blue they become dismissive, avoidant. In essence, a narcissist lacks integrity. Integrity is defined as one having a strong moral code. I define integrity as one having a strong code of ethics and also having the ability to own one’s short comings. The ability to take accountability and action to mend wrongs. Narcissist do not have this ability. They will promise you they will make changes. However, then they will change things. You are stuck in a game you can not win. Start to recognize if the difficult person in your life says one thing and then does another. If so you need to use the 4 C’s to change your life. It will help you stop giving this person the benefit of doubt and learn to take care of you!
Use the 4 C’s to change to help you.
The 4 C’s to change
Realize you can not cure NPD.
Realize you did not cause this person to make the choices they make.
Realize you can not control this persons choices and behavior.
Realize you can CONTROL YOUR CHOICES AND BEHAVIOR. You can be a game changer!
How to be a game changer?
Game changers are people who recognize that someone they care about is addicted to conflict, lying and manipulating. This person in their life uses people to satisfy their own inner turmoil. A game changer decides to no longer personalize what this toxic person is doing and change themself. A game changer is mentally and emotionally strong.
Have you been hurt and embarrassed by someones behavior?
Do you worry about disappointing your mom or dad?
Do you feel no one understands your situation?
Do you convince yourself to trust someone that keeps letting you down?
Do you feel guilty telling someone no because you know they will make you feel guilty?
If you answered yes then decide today to become a game changer!
Change you not this person!
First, ask yourself… “How can you hold someone accountable that uses people and conflict to get what they want?”
Let me tell you…..
There is no magic pill to fix NPD. If you are entangled with someone with NPD most likely you will not get a diagnosis which can make your situation seem hopeless. However, now there is my heal from narcissism ecourse that shows you first had how to recognize emotional abuse, how to emotionally detach from the person and take care of you. In essence be a game changer!
YOU can change your own behaviors. Learn how to find healthier ways to respond to the challenges you are presented with when entangled with difficult people.
Dealing with NPD is a complex situation however by adopting our approach, ” one step at a time, one moment at a time” you can take control of your life and make a complex situation manageable. Start to believe this is possible.
Game changers come to learn narcissism as a family illness affects everyone in a family. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent you will understand your own family role and how you can change your behaviors today. If you are married to a narcissist or co parenting with a narcissist you will learn your own role and how to change your behaviors so you can have a positive impact yourself and your children. This insight will put you in better position to play a positive role in your family and current situation.
So join us today, take control of your life! Be a game changer!
I’m rooting for you!
– Brit Morris
